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The Arsenal Files 8
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The Arsenal Files Collection #8 (Arsenal Computer) (1996).ISO
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RUB60-10
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1996-08-31
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Copyright 1996(c)
A DIME IN TIME
A Ruby D. Begonia Pearl
From the Gimp It and Veep series
"...one minute...two minutes...three--"
The candidate counted dimes. His aides watched closely.
"...four... five."
He opened his hand. There were only four dimes in it. Nobody
could figure out how he'd palmed the other dime. Ruby knew that
it's not the hand that is quicker than the eye, it's just that some
people are really, really good at distracting you.
"And this is what you're gonna do at the convention?" she
asked.
"It's tricky. They want knock'em-dead," said the candidate.
"I think they're going to be really entertained."
"You're not gonna sing or nothin' are you?" Ruby asked. "Cause
I got a feeling you have misunderstood that knock'em-dead thing.
You got to have more than this. We don't want a President can can-
can--we want one can President. You got make 'em think you are."
"How so?" asked the candidate.
"Well, you got have a dynamite message and deliver it with
pizzazz. Nothing ever sold unless it was different and better. You
got to have a message'll rock 'em in their socks. I don't think the
big floppy shoes are gonna work," said Ruby.
"I am not wearing big, floppy shoes," said the candidate.
"That's a whatchacall, metamusil," said Ruby.
"Metaphor?" asked the candidate.
"That, too," said Ruby. "Look-it, you got to emote. They got
to see fire coming out'cher eyes. You got about eight minutes, max,
to sell these folks you're alert, intelligent, adroit and likable.
That ain't long. You don't want to be doing no shuffle-off-to-
Buffalo in your tap shoes, singing Mammy," she said.
"Watch my hand," said the Presidential candidate, and as Ruby
watched a playing card appeared.
"Won't hunt," said Ruby. "That old 'watch my hand, watch my
hand', so's nobody can watch what your other hand's doing, is just
political poop. We're all so onto and over that. I say you got to
wow them, not make an elephant disappear. That's been done. You
need a killer speech."
"And what do you suggest?" asked the candidate, putting down
his deck of cards.
"Well, what's your message?" she asked. "I'll help you razz
it up."
"I'll reduce the budget and cut taxes," said the candidate.
"That's it?" asked Ruby.
"Basically," said the candidate.
"You know, you just may be right," said Ruby. "Say, let me see
that dime thing again," said Ruby. "Maybe we can get Candace Bergen
to introduce you.
"You might be wanting to polish them tap shoes, too," she
said.